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Getting it all out

Sat trying to revise anatomy but can’t because I’m crying too much, and it’s ridiculous that I let myself get to this point. I joke about having a really low guilt threshold, but I genuinely think it’s a problem. Mum expects me to learn to drive because of all the money we spent this summer, and get to know her boyfriend Craig. Dave (my boss) needs me to work at the pub because he hasn’t got the staff, friends want to see me, at university and at home, my house wants me to be around and sociable. Mike needs me at the moment because of his Nan passing away and he’s just needy in general, which would be nice because its nice to feel needed, but its just one more thing. Dad and family want to see me up in Nantwich, and I need to visit Granny because I don’t visit her enough and she’s getting older and frailer every time I see her. And everyone expects me to be happy and cheerful like I usually am when I’m not too stressed, which I want to be too.  And I want to keep more on top of my work and get fit, but because I let myself get guilted too easily that gets pushed to the back, so then I feel stressed because the work piles up and I gain weight, and when that gets too much, I just shut everything and everyone out, eat junk, sit and watch TV or listen to music or cross-stitch or sleep or do whatever which doesn’t help any of the above stuff, and certainly doesn’t help me. And I can’t let it out to anyone because I’m mum’s only child and I don’t want her to think that I’m an emotional mess, which I’M NOT USUALLY. And Mike’s said that he thinks people that cry in front of anyone are weak-willed, and I can’t talk about this stuff without crying. And I don’t want any of my friends to feel like they caused any of this, because really, wanting to see me isn’t much to ask at all. And probably worst of all is that I feel awful, because ALL of this stuff, on its own and even in combination is pretty trivial, and other people seem to manage fine with MUCH worse problems than this, so I’m pretty sure I’m just being a massive drama Queen over all of it, or maybe I’m just overthinking it and hormonal tonight, which is why it all feels so much worse than it is. I’m muddling through; I just wish I didn’t feel such a surge of panic every time I think about getting through the next few months. It shouldn’t be like this.

And it’s all because I let trivial stuff get in the way of what I need to do, because at the end of the day, the main source of responsibility and stress is medicine, and that should be my priority because that’s where my whole future is, and I let other stuff in the way until I get to the freeze-up and block out point, after which its almost impossible to motivate myself to start tackling the mountain of work I have left to catch up on. So I get more stressed and so on.

SO. In conclusion, my New Years Resolutions are two-fold:

  1. To start being more selfish, care less about what people think about me, and put my health and my career before anything else.
  2. To try and not react to stress by blocking everything out, and wasting time doing stuff I’m not even that bothered about, just to avoid doing work. Because that just makes everything worse. If I can learn to tackle stuff a bit at a time, I should feel better.

I just need to stick to it.

God just read this back and it sounds so whiny, but it was SO cathartic to write. I do feel better. So future me reading this; at least it wasn’t a wasted effort entirely.

P.S. I put this on lj mostly because I need to get this out to someone else, instead of keeping it all in. Don't really expect or need a response, its more just the act of letting it out. BUT, having said that, if anyone on my flist has the same problem, and has a good coping method, I would be happy to hear about it. Thanks. x


Title: Sleep Alone
Rating: pg
Summary: Kurt can't sleep...
Comments: This is for podicus, my wonderful friend and tv buddy,  for her 18th birthday ^_^ it's angsty, which is definately NOT my usual style, so apologies if there are some awkward bits- I tried to iron them out as much as possible :)

It’s dark, and in the Hummel household all is silent.

Is he coming? Perhaps he’s finally got bored of this game, this stupid game of his that he has played nightly almost since he moved in, two…no three years ago now? College offered some respite, you wondered if that would be the end of it. But no, the first night back in the holidays, it was as if you’d never left.

You shift, trying to find a comfortable position, and curse under your breath because damn him, though you HATE it, he has taken even your ability to sleep alone.

Title: 3 things you must never do to a Holmes- 1. Don’t get him dirty. 2. Don’t mess with his experiments. And 3. NEVER, EVER GIVE HIM RUM.

Author: alittlebrighter

Rating: pg-13/very light R

Summary: Clarkie and the officers of Scotland yard break the most important rule of dealing with a Holmes…

This was written as harmless funny fluff, because I’ve just finished writing a VERY angsty piece which will be up in a few days, when I’m happy with it :-S this one I just wanted to put out there to cheer me up, so apologies for any mistakes, as well as the pure ridiculousness of this J thankyou!



A knock on the door roused Watson from his position, asleep in the armchair closest to the fire. Holmes being the only consulting detective in the city, it was not unusual to get callers at 11 o’clock at night. What was unusual, was for the knocking to be accompanied by raucous singing, punctuated by laughter so loud and…well, piercing that it floated up to him even at the top of the stairs. There was a sinking feeling in his gut, a premonition of what was to come.


“I’ll get it Mrs. Hudson!” He called out. It was best if there were as few people present as possible for this. Descending the stairs, he crossed to the door, opening it- and immediately gaining an armful of VERY drunk consulting detective.


“Waatshhoooonn!” Holmes grinned into his neck, breath hot against his ear. Shifting him against his side, Watson looked cautiously out the door.




A very sheepish constable appeared from behind the door. His hair was askew, and his face a little red. “Evening Doctor. Holmes, he…well…”






“Who let him have rum?”


“Well…well he said he was in the mood for it. The case was finished, very successfully I might add, and we thought, well, what could be the harm?” He blushed even harder.


“And when I expressly told both you, Lestrade and Gregson NEVER, under ANY circumstances, to let Holmes have any rum, you thought that giving him rum…was a good idea. Have I got that right?”


“Mmm ruuummm.” Holmes chose that moment to pipe up. “Who has the rum Watson? The rum in my tum makes me FUN!” He dissolving into giggles, leaning heavily on Watson. “Watson darling, d’ja like my little poem? I shall have to write it down soon, I’ve clearly discovered yet ANOTHER facet of my absolute GEEENIUS! Are you amazed darling?” He grinned up at the man he was clinging to, kissing his cheek sloppily.


Watson merely shot Clarkie a very dirty look.


“Yes I’ll just ah- be going now.”


Watson nodded. “I think that would be best.”


“Oh, and Doctor?”


Watson sighed, Holmes still giggling into his neck and pressing sloppy kisses to his neck and jaw. “Yes?” He ground out.


“Honestly, none of the boys’ll say anything about what Mr. Holmes said. I mean it’s none of our business what you two get up to in the privacy of your own home. Or at the opera. Or at the turkish baths. Or the-”


“YES! Thank you Clarkie, that’ll be all.”


“Although you might want to be more careful next time you two want to…conduct your business in the cells at the police station, I should warn you the inspectors pretty pissed off about that one-”


“GOODNIGHT Clarkie!” With that Watson shut the door with a long-suffering sigh. Holmes pouted against his neck. “WAATSSHOOON, you’re not doing your amazed face. And you’re not naked either, this is not accepabib…acciptab……this is not on Watson!”


Watson rolled his eyes and gave his best, most long-suffering sigh. “Come on old boy, up to bed with you.”


“Mmm yes, bed.” Came the reply. “Bed is good.” Hips ground against Watson’s thigh, and he couldn’t help, from sheer conditioning, the answering stir in his own trousers.


“Holmes! What did I say about rum?” He questioned, half dragging the scruffy man up the stairs and into the flat.


“Uhmm…that it makes me ridiculously randy, and that I shouldn’t drink it.” He looked up at him, his grey eyes wide with confusion. “I’m sorry but I fail to see how you put those two statements together.”


They were at the door to Holmes’ bedroom, and by all rights Watson should really leave him here…but the accursed man was sucking on the join between his neck and shoulder, and simultaneously undoing the top buttons of his shirt (the man had ridiculously good dexterity even when completely inebriated), and Holmes had been busy with the case for some weeks prior to this…and suddenly he was on the bed with Holmes underneath him, grinning wickedly, his heavy-lidded eyes dark with want.


Sod it, it wasn’t going to do any harm at this point. He got up and turned around, tearing at the buttons on his shirt, throwing it onto the floor, before starting to work on his trouser buttons. Pulling them down hastily, he turned round, dressed only in his boxers and a grin, to see Holmes, spread out on the bed before him…snoring contentedly.


He huffed out a breath, shaking his head. You’d think after the last three rum-fuelled incidents he would have learned. He took off Holmes’ shoes, before manoeuvring the unconscious man underneath the covers. He slid in beside him.

“You owe me one tomorrow.” He whispered into the tousled black hair, grinning ruefully, before pulling him close, and trying to ignore his lingering arousal enough find sleep.


Still, he thought, at least the yard will most certainly have learned their lesson about giving the detective rum. If the last few times were anything to go by, then the graphic tales Holmes had told them would be with them for a long while yet…

Title: Routine
Rating: pg-13
Wordcount: ~1600
Warnings: Gratuitous shirtlessness and wet men ;-) implied smexing. Possible (probable) historical inaccuracies. 
Comments: I thought up this ficlet while swimming lengths this morning. When I got home I ran to the computer and banged this out in about an hour, while I should have been revising, so apologies for any mistakes, or if it sounds a bit rushed :-S I did proofread it!
Dedicated to @podicus who's Glee fics have cheered me up during a very stressful time ♥ and also to all the friends who I've managed to convert to slash, as well as those who've converted themselves without my knowlege ;-) ILU!! ^_^



As much as Holmes may claim to hate it, the lives of the two bachelors living at 221b Baker Street , are dictated and governed by routine.

That is, when they are not working on a case at least. When the game’s afoot, nothing encroaches on the needs of the case, be it the hands of the clock, food, nor even the pull of sleep. That said, for the majority of the time, the detective and the doctor are creatures of habit.

Watson would wake at 8am, breakfast on tea and toast left on the table by Mrs. Hudson, and spend the morning attending to patients. Holmes would rise somewhere between noon and 1 o’clock, and the two would lunch together on whatever stew or other dish cooked by their long-suffering housekeeper. Watson would then return to his patients, while Holmes tinkered away at whatever revolution in medical or forensic science he was working on at the time. Dinner was usually consumed at around 8 o’clock, and then the pair would while away the evening with brandy and pipes, conversation batted lazily between them amidst the rustling of newspapers, case notes and scientific journals, until Watson retired at around midnight. Holmes, who considered himself to be almost nocturnal, usually continued with whatever he was doing, or played his violin until the early hours ofd the morning, before turning in himself.


This daily schedule was punctuated by other routines. For instance, every ten days or so they took in a show or concert. At least once a week (and sometimes much more frequently depending on how long it had been since their last case,) Watson would come home to find Holmes laid out in some drug- or alchohol-induced stupor, and his evening was spent monitoring his condition while Holmes gradually regained conciousness.

And every Tuesday and Friday, without fail, Watson took himself to the local swimming baths, and spent an hour and a half swimming the length of the pool, back and forth, as Holmes watched from the side with his pipe and a broadsheet.


Watson had begun this habit what now felt like a lifetime ago, in that hazy period during his convalescance from the wounds he had sustained in Afghanistan. At the time, it had been the only regular thing left in his life. He found the rhythme soothing, the steady push and pull of muscles and the flow of water along his body as he moved through it.

It also benefitted his recovery: the lack of friction and the low resistance allowing him to stretch and work the damaged muscles in his leg and shoulder without straining them. Even now, the cool water relieved the weight from his leg and lessened the near-constant ache.

As he advanced in age and became less active in other ways, it also served to maintain his physique, a fact he admitted to having some pride in. He knew few people with an occupation as sedentary as his, at his age, who’s waists were as slim and shoulders as broad as his own.


This particular routine carried another with it: every week, Watson would attemp to persuade Holmes to join him in the water. He had no need of it physically, his trips to the punchbowl kept his thin frame wiry and solid with muscle, but Watson could not help feeling that the man, who’s time was taken up by boxing, conducting dangerous experiments and consuming a variety of intoxicating substances, could do with at least one hobby that was not self-destructive.

In a profession such as his, Watson also felt that swimming might also be a useful skill to possess, given that one never knew when one might find themselves falling into water on a chase. The Thames in particular, with its currents and tides, could be very dangerous for a non-swimmer.

But the detective seemed not to agree. Every week his answer was the same:

“I prefer to watch.”
Watson suspected that this unwillingness on Holmes’ part was largely to do with the fact that, aside from medicine, Holmes was unused to being upstaged in…well, anything, and he was unwilling to show this vunerability to anybody, let alone to the general public at the swimming baths.
However, it was during the Blackwood case that Watson was to be proved spectacularly wrong in this suspicion.

Holmes was occupied on the top floor of the houses of parliament, and Watson, Irene Adler, and an old skipper were watching intently from on deck of a launch they had engaged the services of. As on many other occasions, Watson once again found himself wishing that Holmes had divulged his plan before he went running off. How was he planning to get onto the waiting vessel? Perhaps they were meant to be docked on the bank? But no, he had been very explicit in his instructions to wait in the middle of the river.

Watson wondered if he was supposed to be jumping in to tow the detective to their getaway vehicle. He sincerely hoped that this was not the case, the Thames was cold and the water black and murky with silt. He carefully did not think about what else it was likely to contain. Regardless, he stripped to his shirtsleeves, on the offchance that his services would be needed.

It was with a sinking feeling in his gut that he watched the familiar face appear at a window, followed by a body, which crouched on the window ledge for a second. Seeing what was about to happen, he tore his shirt open, cursing as he watched the detective execute an elegant dive, headfirst into the murky waters. For such an intelligent man, he thought grimly, he had the survival instinct of a drunk moth. Discarding the shirt (he’d be damned if he was going to let Holmes ruin ANOTHER one) he leapt onto the side of the vessel, preparing to dive…before seeing Holmes, swimming with long, powerful strokes towards them.
He cut through the water with an efficiency which made the Doctor’s breath catch, both with surprise, and…and with that thing which he did not allow himself to think about. Holmes covered the considerable distance between them in under twenty seconds. Reaching the side of the boat, he trod water, wiping his face and flicking wet strand of hair out of his eyes, before grinning up at Watson, holding his hand out for a lift up.
Watson simply looked down at him, surprise warring with annoyance that he had been upstaged once again, and an amused feeling that he should probably have guessed that this would happen. When would he learn never to underestimate the man?
“You can swim.” He said, amusement finally winning out and curling into his tone. Holmes grinned up at him.
“Of course old boy. I would not have attempted to jump into the river if I could not,” he pointed out reasonably. He wasn’t even out of breath, damn him!
Huffing, Watson grasped the proffered hand, pulling the detective out of the water to stand, dripping onto the deck as the launch started to move downstream. When he looked down, he was disconcerted to find their hands still clasped. The feeling of Holmes’ wet shirt on his skin raised goosebumps on his skin, and he felt a shiver of arousal coil through him. Holmes, watching him carefully, started to grin softly. Watson looked at him, his eyes wide and questioning, afraid that he had finally let slip what he had hidden for so very long.
The silence stretched, and neither moved away.
“You never come swimming with me.” He found himself pointing out, breaking the quiet. He was embarrassed to hear the slightly breathless edge to his voice.
“Like I say,” the depth and cadence of Holmes’ voice brought a blush to his cheeks.
“I prefer to watch.” He had heard this phrase so many times before, but it was with this new emphasis that he finally understood.
He felt a huff of breath against his neck, and caught a wicked glint in his friends eye. Then his hand was released, and the heat of the body against him was gone. He blinked, dazed, before looking over his shoulder. Caught up in the moment, he had quite forgotten that they were not alone. The skipper was studiously looking at his instruments, and Irene Adler was watching him, grinning smugly. His cheeks burned.
“By the way, Watson?” He looked around to where Holmes was towelling himself dry, looking at him curiously. He cleared his throat.
“Watson, what happened to your shirt?”
*    *    *
Since this episode their routines have changed.

Watson tends to rise a little later, unwilling to leave the embrace of the warm body beside him. They often spend their evenings in a way that involves no brandy or tobacco whatsoever.

They still go to concerts and shows, but Watson is more aware these days of the hand on his leg, and the body pressed against his side, than he is of the music, and Holmes often lays his head against his shoulder as they discuss the show in the cab on the way home.

Watson is infinately gratified to observe that the number of times he arrives home to find Holmes passed out on the floor is vastly reduced (although it still happens, Holmes may love him dearly, but he remains the same tormented genius addict of a man that he always was).


Watson still swims twice a week, and Holmes still accompanies him. But afterwards, Holmes now follows him discreetly into the changing room, and when he emerges he often recieves funny looks, for the front of his shirt is damp, his hair an even greater mess than usual, and his usually pallid cheeks are flushed. Watson emerges ten minutes later, usually in much the same state (though his hair is slightly more tame), and together they head home, to continue their happy routines of domesticity and affection.

♥ ♥ ♥

A/N: Might come back and edit this later, but for now I don't have time :( comments would be even MORE appreciated than usual (if thats possible!!!!) because I have the biggest exams of my life in 2 weeks and I need the pick-me-up! Hope y'all enjoyed ^_^

  A/N2: I have no idea if they had swimming baths in Victorian times. If they didn't, then this is in an au when someone who REALLY liked swimming introduced them far earlier than in our universe :)

Multifandom Southpark people :)

OK so here, right here, is proof that either I have too much time on my hands, or (more likely) that I waste my time doing stupid things :-S
Still, the fruits of my labour:

Watson and Holmes at 221b (why yes, the background is repetetive :-S), a harrassed Mrs. Hudson in her domain, and Gladstone!! Irene Adler at a fancy party in some exotic place (because for a Victorian lady she is AWESOME like that XD), and lastly the moment that Mary realizes the exact nature of the relationship between her soon-to-be husband and his 'partner', an hour before their wedding :)

Uther decides that he wants a photoshoot with Camelot as the backdrop (obviously this is a pudsey au :D).
Arthur looks completely badass as always, Merlin brings out his special, chequered neckerchief for the occasion (he's hoping Arthur will notice ;-D)
Morgana never misses an oppertunity to get all done-up, but both her and Gwen are slightly distracted at the sight of Lancealot, arriving fresh from the practice yards, all sweaty, with his shirt undone...
Gaius just wants to get back to his reasearch, and Uther decides that he wishes he hadn't bothered after all.

And finally a few bonuses: Ennis and Jack <3

Poor Ennis :'-(

And of course, Jack and Ianto:


N.B.- All these drawings were made using Southpark Studios 'Create a Character', which (surprise surprise) I do not own :)
Link to the website can be found here: http://www.sp-studio.de/ 

I also don't own or make money out of the Sherlock Holmes franchise, Merlin, Brokeback Mountain or Torchwood. If I did there would be more slash and less angst :)


...I have no defence for this. It's probably not even that funny, but it made me laugh so I had to share :-S images are not mine, I got them from a google image search because I fail at technology and haven't worked out how to make my own stills :-S

Introduction post- HolmesWatson'09

A bit late to the party, but better late than never right? And I'm here to meet new people, so random adds are welcome :)

What should we call you?

Where are you from?
Middle-England (like Middle-Earth only less interesting) :)

What do you do?
I'm a student, going to medical school in October XD

What other fandoms are you involved in?
I hail from the good 'ship Merlin ^_^ I've also written a few Marauder-era HP fics, and dabbled in Torchwood and Doctor Who. More recently I've been reading Glee fics as well but I don't have any burning desire to write any.

What are some of your other favorite films, books, and TV shows?
Torchwood, Doctor Who, Being Human, Glee, Merlin (yes I watch too much tv :-S), Brokeback Mountain, Lord of the Rings (this was my first ever fandom ^^, Frodo/Sam yay!) Black Magicians trilogy...think thats about it :)

What's your experience with the Sherlock Holmes franchise, so to speak?
Very little, I'm afraid I was initially drawn in purely by the irresistable force that is the combined hotness of RDJ and JL :-S. However, I'm hoping to fix my appauling lack of canon knowledge over Summer, and get down to some SERIOUS WRITING *puts on game face* :)
Come for the hotness, stay for the plot- its how I've stumbled into most of my fandoms :-S

What are some of your hopes for the film?
Erm only that there would be as much slashy goodness as the trailers and cast interviews seemed to indicate...(there SO was XD)

What are your favorite parts of the trailers?
This wasn't in the trailers (as far as I know :-S) but as I've already seen the film, it HAD to be the scene in the prison yard- I'm a sucker for domesticity ♥ and quite honestly, that scene moved beyond slashy romance and strayed into VERY long term established relationship territory ;-)

Why do you ship Holmes and Watson?
The banter! Also the fact that unlike most slash pairings there isn't an obvious femenine one and masculine one, it's much more balanced :)

How would you describe their relationship?
They're married, they just don't know it :P

How do you think THEY would describe their relationship?
Like I say, they don't know it :) Business (cough*life*cough) partners ;-)

If you had to choose for yourself: Holmes or Watson? Why?
As a future doctor (fingers crossed) I'm impelled to say Watson. However, I may have got this wrong, but my impression from what little I know of the books is that Watson (*cough*) gets around. And I'm a sucker for tortured geniuses :-S

Who tops and bottoms? Or do they switch or do you really not care?
I am reliably informed that most gay men don't have a preferance so strong that they exclusively do one or the other. So I'm gonna say switches :)

What would you like to see people write fic about?
I'm keeping my plotbunnies safely in their hutch for now :)

Do you have anything else to add?
Just wanted to say that I love this new fandom, and I can't wait to get stuck into some real intellectually challenging fic :) I love the Merlin fandom, but there is a bit of a lack of this there.

Nov. 21st, 2009

*small voice pipes up*
I really liked this ep. Like seriously the whole thing! :-S
OK so before you all start throwing things at me, here's why:

1. OK so I was all set to hate Freya, but...she's so vulnerable! And not in a sickly way, like in a genuinely well acted, well written way that fits her backstory. Like the flashes happiness she gives merlin and how she's always so surprised when he's nice to her is just *guh*.

2. I don't think its all that ooc that Merlin gets caught up in all this as much as he does. He tells us why, its that this is someone he can truly be himself around! I think after the utter heartbreak that was the end of the last ep (OMG I STILL HAVEN'T RECOVERED FROM THAT ;_;) getting his hopes up that he could MABYE tell Arthur, only to be slapped back down and having to resign himself to a good few more years of hiding who he is, I can TOTALLY see why he gets a bit carried away when he sees a chance to live a life with someone who accepts who he is. OK, so its a bit fast, fair enough, but the general idea is good! (Also he didn't say this but in my head I'm fairly sure he planned for him and Freya to come back when Arthur was King, mabye I'm wrong about that :-S).

3. COLIN MORGAN IS LIKE THE BEST ACTOR EVER!!!! Well, mabye not ever :-S but this was the best oppertunity he's had 4 ages to properly do some powerful emotional scenes! When she was dying CM literally broke my heart ;_; Cos I mean I love Merlin nd everything, but tbh sometimes I don't think the scriptwriters give him much to run with? Like with Arthur, he's had a whole lot of character developement and backstory and stuff, but Merlin sometimes ends up just being a bit of a means to an end you know? Save Arthurs ass (again!) then make a few snappy comebacks and thats it. So I loved this cos it reminded us just how good he is. Seriously I just wanted to hug him like the entire way through this!

4. ...OK so nekkid Arthur was O.O as always ;-) and the manlove! AND THE CROSSDRESSING!!! And the sausages and the bath ♥ I am completely serious when I say I am sure we have a slash writer/reader/lover on the writing team for this show. Seriously! You just couldn't write this stuff by accident!!!!! ^_^ Also whoever s/he is, s/he is stealing our ideas so bad! I mean the bath! Like 50% of the fics I've read have THAT EXACT SCENE!!! Well...not quite that exact scene, less of the burning and more of the nakedness and sex...but still!

OK so I hope I've justified myself at least a bit :-S I mean, no denying there was plotholes at always, but overall I thought this week was pretty epic.

p.s ZOMG NEXT WEEK LOOKS EVEN BETTER!!!! Why so nice to us writers? XD and yay another sophia!! Come on, you've gotta admit girls we love to hate are a pretty awesome plot device right? I see future fic!! Woo!!!

Nov. 8th, 2009

Warning: Spoilers for 2:07

OK, so I never EVER thought I'd be posting this for 2 reasons:

1. I like FLUFF! Pure, gooey fluff :-S with a bit of crack mixed in sometimes :-) but when I was watching the ep I had a thought...and it just wouldn't leave me be :-S

2. I don't like leaving plot bunnies. Before, I have to admit I've always sort of thought, write it yourself if you're so desperate to see it written! :-S but now I want to apologize for that, because I TOTALLY get it now! When you are so desperate to read a certain story, but you literally have NO time, for the foreseeable future :-/ at least, thats what position I've found myself in :-S

So here goes...

So when Merlin did that magic, and that woman came up behind him and started screaming about ZOMG THAT WAS SORCERY! I'M GONNA TELL THE KING!!!
And as I was watching, some little voice in my head for an instant was like 'Merlin should kill her, it's the only way to shut her up!'

So the plot bunny is this: Starts at this point, except Merlin, without thinking, kills the woman. None of the events in ep 207 happen because the King never hears of the magic.

He feels really guilty, etc, but eventually reasons that he had to do that, because he can't endanger his future with Arthur, uniting the whole of Albion, because of one woman.

So all seems fine, except a week later the womans body was found, and her son/brother/whatever starts to investigate. He questions people and finds out that Merlin was around the area. So he goes and asks Merlin about it, not even remotely suspecting him cos he's so cute and innocent. But Merlin's got paranoid and thinks someone's onto him. He reasons that the only thing he can do is to kill this guy too, and then he can stop.

But this spirals out of control. Mabye someone sees him killing the guy with magic, or mabye even hiding the body with magic, and so he kills them to. You see where this is going right?

So I'm hoping for Merlin pov, and lots of warped logic as to why all this is necessary and for the greater good of Camalot, getting more and more violent until he has killed many many people, mabye even a main character? Gwen/Morgana/Uther/Gaius?

Crescendo as Arthur finds out about whats been happening, and finds out that its Merlin thats been doing all these brutal murders. How you end it is up to you...

Oh yeh and forgot to say- I suppose you could write this as unrequited or just ust Merlin/Arthur, but would bloody LOVE if you could get in a relationship there, with lots of creepy intense sex scenes where Merlins thinking about the people he's killed for Arthur whilst in the middle of it, or whispers endearments like 'I would die for you. I would kill for you...' *shivers*

HEE if you write this for me you can have my <STRIKE>First born Child</STRIKE> <STRIKE>Car</STRIKE> Undying gratitude ^_^
Hope someones interested xxx

Sep. 20th, 2009

Can someone help me clear this up in my head?

OK, so like just about everybody else in this fandom, I LOVED LOVED LOVED the new Merlin ep, despite Arthurs general pratliness and the Merlin!footstool moment which have already been discussed and I think cleared up (thanks btw to the people that opened those discussions, I feel better about the whole thing now :-)) .

But as of yet I haven't seen any discussions about the end? So I was wondering if mabye I'd missed something and was unnecessarily confused about it :-S I have two main problems with it.

1.  I thought Gaius had the crystal heart?! I thought he'd picked it up off the floor of the chamber after Merlin had run off to find Arthur and bitchslap Cedric?

2. Merlin had barely even started saying the spell when the blue-soul-mist was going into him, DEFINATELY not finished it, and then his eyes did that dilating thing. Surely at that point his freewill/conciousness was sort of gone? How did he finish the spell or get it out of him after that had happened?

Once again I apologise for my stupidity if the answers to these are really obvious- I claim stupidity caused by too much barechested!Arthur and doe-eyes Merlin.

Also, sorry but just wanted to share this: They should really warn people if barechested!Arthur is going to make an appearance! Honestly, this was the first time I'd watched the show with my boyfriend, and the entire way through he's giving me dirty looks because he caught me drooling slightly :-S it's not exactly my fault! No-one should be allowed to be that hot, its not fair ;-3

Oh yeh, one more thing: ... did anyone else think that the expression on Merlins face when you thought he was dark!Merlin was the HOTTEST THING EVER?!?!  Seriously, a part of me was actually DISSAPOINTED when it turned out he was just trying to give Gaius a coronary :-S